Sunday FUNDAY!!

There are very few things that make my blood boil more than these phrases:

I got a case of the Mondays!

Happy Humpday!!

Happy Friday! TGIF! OMG I can't believe it's Friday!

Sunday FUNday!!


Have you lived longer than 7 days? Do you understand that these days repeat? Do you understand that they always proceed in the same order?

So please stop acting like you are surprised Friday just showed up. And please stop using these inane phrases that give people in the office something to say that day or post on their respective Facebook statuses.

I have lived 9237423498 days in my life, so I don't need you to remind me what day it is, I remember the order, it happened last week, and last week, and last week...

You OFFICIALLY have no friends.

Once again, why do people feel the need to make emphatic statements by using OFFICIAL or OFFICIALLY? For instance:

I OFFICIALLY love Starbucks!

OMG, I am OFFICIALLY over school!

It's OFFICIAL, I am in love with my new DRESS!!

Please stop. None of these things are official unless you have a notary public stamp it! Come on you dungus! Have you made these statements in front of a local judge and/or jury in a court of law? I doubt it. Please grow up.

...You OFFICIALLY need to stop using the computer for anything other than playing minesweeper.

Beer + Poolside + Summer = Heaven

I am not really sure what level of math you last completed, but I don't think this adds up right. Let me fill you in on an equation that was postulated by Descartes.

You + Using the internet = Annoying.

He was smart, and you should heed his advice.

OMG! Twilight is the BEST MOVIE EVER!

No. It's not. Just because you enjoy something, that doesn't make it the best thing ever. Life has been around a long time (like at least 500 years or so I think), and there have been way more best things ever than you really think. So please, really try to stop and think before you describe the weekend you had as the best weekend ever. Because chances are, it's not, because your life sucks.

...Ghostbusters is the best movie ever, in case you were wondering.

You.Have.No.Friends.

If. you. type. things. like. this. to. make. an. emphatic. statement. about.
something. nobody. really. cares. about. you. have. no. friends.

Writing to inanimate objects.

Who told you it was cute to write idiotic letters to things that simply can't write back, and if they could, probably would not give a crap what you think. For instance:

Dear Florida,

Why did you decide to totally ruin my day by having a torrential downpour? Me and my girlies were planning on beachin' it up! Thanks a lot Florida.

Yours Truly, Tammy


Listen Tammy, "Florida" does not give a crap about you and your girlies plans. Secondly, by the time "Florida" receives your letter it will be too late, because the mail system is slow. And lastly, if "Florida" could read your letter, it would plan its next downpour the next time you go to the beach, because you said "beachin' it up", and that is stupid.

Hello.

I just decided that I have some things to get off my chest as my frustration with internet users continues to mount. If there is anything you need to get off your chest, feel free to jump in.